Let It Go

For Lent I signed up for a purging challenge as a way of doing something affirmative that would have a life-enhancing impact (mainly cleaning my house finally). I was supposed to toss out or donate 40 bags of stuff in 40 days. But here we are, roughly at day 38 or so and I have only succeeded in emptying all the gift bags I received at my baby showers.

And that produced one (1) measly bag of trash.

I want to purge. I look at the piles of papers, clothes and other stuff in my house and I feel like a hoarder. I have convinced myself that I can do this in a week (or two) if I really dedicated the time, but who am I kidding? I need Niecy Nash.

But before I admit to that level of dysfunction, can I just say that my life is really complicated? In between barely getting enough sleep, wrapping up various Busy Black Woman projects, helping out with my mother, going to doctor visits, finishing up childbirth classes, shopping for Easter and however else I waste time, something has got to give. Given the choice between cleaning and purging or doing almost anything else, I will do almost anything else.

Ok, not really a valid excuse, so how about this one: I am not ready to start nesting yet.

Except that I am, kinda. I did all of my baby laundry two weeks ago. I got my brother to install my car seat base. I put together the stroller and one of the playpens. I am ready to unpack and unload and rearrange stuff. I am packing my baby bag for the hospital.

Yet the reality...nesting implies that I am ready for this baby to be born. Nesting means that I am ready to send this kid to preschool. Nesting suggests that I will survive middle school and adolescence with a really good dye job. Nesting requires me to accept the fact that one day, my nest will be empty.

Yeah, I watch way too many car commercials.

But I am running out of excuses and time. Everything that I put off until tomorrow becomes more stuff that has to be done or else the baby will have no where to sleep (not exactly). Or else I will be forced to admit that I am a messy Mommy (or I will just blame it on RC). So I am giving myself permission to just forget about the 40 days challenge...for now. I will simply get to it eventually, right around the time when the baby goes reaching for something that I should have tossed. Either way, it will get done.