The purse was a gift from my mother. It sucks that it is gone because I had just recently begun to carry it again so that I could stop toting all the shit I keep kept in the tote bag. It also sucks because it was among the last gifts she gave me before the dementia. And it sucks because I only got sentimental about the purse today after it was taken.
The tote bag was a recent acquisition, purchased to carry all my stuff. I
Sometimes you get premonitions that shit is going to be bad; yet, I decided to proceed with my plans for the day in spite of ample warning in the manner of giant flashing fluorescent neon light signs telling me not to go there. It started when the Babe was too restless to sleep and thus, I was caught between consciousness and delirium this morning when I should have been in the shower. It continued when I realized that I was running way too behind and left the house way too late to travel across town to get my mother ready for church but went anyway. Then she was uncooperative and I considered my options--continue ahead with my plans to take her to our church an hour after service began, or go somewhere else. I chose to go to our church and ran into massive traffic in the tunnel, delays driving through the city, and then had to circle the neighborhood for a parking space, which I found and considered myself lucky as I escorted her from the car and set the alarm (which after malfunctioning, earlier, miraculously worked as usual).
I told myself as each obstacle presented itself that while my morning might be going poorly, this morning was not about me but about God. And as we walked to the church, and as Mom seemed quite animated during service, and even as we approached the car and I noticed that my drivers' side door had been opened...I still believe. I do. I just lost a lot of stuff.
I have lost a makeup bag before and though it sucks, ALL of that stuff can be replaced. The rain hat can be replaced, and I have a similar purse that my Mom bought me. The iPod was old and so was the phone charger. The Cheerios will soon go stale and I have another snack bag. Locks can and will be changed. And that Macy's gift card that I was saving, well buy yourself something nice.
And God Bless You. Seriously.
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