Thursday, March 14, 2019

Please Stand By

I am typing this from my old laptop. It is amazing that after four years of sitting idle in a computer bag in my basement, this thing actually still works! It is still heavy as a law book, which is probably just a spoiled brat way of saying, wow computers used to be really heavy. And better made. Because the only thing wrong with this computer (knock on wood), is speed.

To take you back in time to get an idea of why this is such a big deal, I must have been say, six months preggo when my brother gave me a laptop that he received for attending a workshop. At the same time, the Hub had expressed his desire that I get a lighter laptop. And around the same time, I had been told by the technicians at a major electronics store that this dear old laptop was not only heavy but also obsolete at nearly seven (7) years old. It had already undergone a major repair to its hard drive and its operating system was the lovely buggy Vista, so you can only imagine.

Little brother gave me the laptop, which was light enough to carry with one hand. It had a speedy new OS. It had battery life. It didn't come with an AC adaptor that was larger than a tissue box. And it cost us nothing. I had the Kid. You're pretty much caught up.

Fast forward to this past January when the Hub once again declared that I needed a new laptop. His reason--his new laptop was even lighter than mine. But we have a kid in preschool, I said, so it can wait (cue the ironic music). Also, if you know anything about me, I am the Queen of holding onto electronic gadgets until they fall apart. So...


The affable computer tech who extracted my data for a reasonable fee laughed for a least five minutes, then he asked if I had dropped it off a 12-foot wall. When I explained to him how it broke down to the exposed wires through normal wear and tear, he then noted that the company had stopped making computers the year I got that one for free. So that one definitely goes to the landfill.

But killing a laptop isn't the craziest thing to happen to me. That would be coming down with the flu mere days after the Hub got his flu shot. That would also be having a three-year old mutant child serve as the carrier of said flu that the Hub just narrowly escaped, and then barely being affected by it herself. She has been clingy and has had a bad cough. On the other hand, I am barely alive.

Initially, I didn't think this was the flu because some of my symptoms read like pneumonia. A visit to the urgent care confirmed the flu, so I stayed home from several activities and thought that I felt fine enough to tackle a few loads of laundry. And that nearly killed me. That might seem like hyperbole, but I have never flu-lapsed before, so when I tell you that I ended up back in bed on Monday evening feeling like I had been hit by a sonic boom, I am not exaggerating. I had intermittent chills and hot flashes, no appetite for food or water, hallucinations, and everything hurt. I got winded just trying to find a more comfortable position for moaning in bed.

Today is Thursday, and I am just feeling strong enough to carry this heavy-ass laptop up from the basement.

In the meantime, all of the stuff that I was supposed to do has been on hold. I am now weeks behind on my #BlackonBroadway series because I was sick for two Wednesdays straight. I haven't gone by to visit my parents because I could actually kill them. I won't give you a list, but I will never doubt the warnings about flu shots again. It is literally right up there with always back up your data.

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