Sis. On Blue Ivy's internet in the eighth month of the second Trumpocalypse. YOU went there?
I don't even remember what I was trying to find when I saw your name and face trending on the front page of the Bing search engine last week, but there you were. The headline was provocative (they all are these days), but I decided to click anyway and Lawd, I so wish I hadn't. Because now I gotta write this even though the last thing I want to do is go on the offensive and attack a fellow Black woman. But you said what you said, and now I'm gonna say what I need to say.
First of all, I rebuke your rant in the names of Harriet Tubman, Anna Murray Douglass, Fannie Lou Hamer, Aretha Franklin, and every other Black woman who ever faced the circular firing squad of slings and arrows from so-called friendly fire. Because I get that you were hurt and needed to unleash that anger. Sometimes, it be your own people who say the darndest and meanest things.
Then there are the sharp-witted barbs that come flying from the mouths of our own mothers and/or passive aggressive aunts. I cannot begin to count the number of times my late Mom and her BFF, my Auntie, would gang up to offer some "constructive criticism" that had me questioning whether I preferred being bullied at school or at home.
So Kelly, Girl...I over-stand.
Secondly, we all know that social media has given people truckloads of audacity to say the kind of shit that they would never verbalize to someone's face. As you so aptly called out their keyboard courage, folks are really bold when they don't have to face the consequences of their words once they hit send. Particularly when engaging with some celebrity, most of the trolls assume that their audience consists of other like-minded serfs and TERFs.
One of the hidden blessings of not having a lot of followers on these platforms is that I've barely got a handful of haters. And most of those people don't even follow me, so it is an occasional aberration in the algorithm that enables any kind of toxic engagement. In order to provoke the slightest reaction, I've got to say something rather incendiary, which rarely happens. It isn't in my nature to be petty or cruel.
However, as a public figure, you are wide open to all kinds of criticism. Folks who have nothing better to do than post toxic and hateful messages subsist just to call you names, critique your looks, slam your outfits/costumes, and generally spew hate at you in the comment section. So whatever was said must have been really savage to prompt you to post a live video right after you finished your nighttime routine...
Third (and this is the part that got me all twisted), did you think this through before you went on that tirade against your fan base? Black women are the very people who pay to see you: the ones who get their praise on to your music, claim you as their honored Soror, and didn't abandon you in spite of your messiness on that reality show. Black women have been riding with you since your eRR Kelly and Mr. Big days. You really meant to blow up your career by calling Black women out like that on Al Gore's internet?
Look, I could dissect and analyze the content of what you said, but that's for the raw-meat eaters on the Clock app. As you can tell from my approach, I come in peace. I'm not adding any more kindling to this fire; in fact, all I have is a little glass of water that won't even quench your thirst in this heat. Because it is obvious to me that someone was looking for attention. If the goal was to get folks talking about you in advance of some upcoming project, that part worked. But then what Sis? After you go on a couple of radio interviews and podcasts, what happens once the tour is over and the hype dies down?
Who's coming to see you then, Kelly Price?
Let's keep it real--it won't be the tech bros who create and broadcast stereotypical Aunt Jemima memes of plus-size Black women on the Gram, the Book of Faces, or the Buzzard apps. It won't be the Konservative Kathie Lee Karens who prefer Chrisian contemporary worship music with their morning chardonnay. And it certainly won't be the ashy hoteps whose raison d'etre is day-trading insults with the tech bros against Black women. We're all we got.
I am very clear that hurt people lash out and hurt others, so the issue here isn't that you were wrong to be pissed. But let's keep it real...Black women aren't the most disrespectful, we are the most disrespected. In spite of being highly educated, dedicated to our families and communities, and advocates for justice and democracy, we're still human. We're imperfect and messy just like anybody else. And the same way that everyone is quick to disclaim being part of a monolith of all this or that, it is peculiar to me that you would stand in a mirror to point fingers and then act like you're blind to who and what is reflected back at you.
Since I am neither a PR nor a crisis communications professional, I don't have any advice or counsel. This might be the proverbial bridge too far. We're both smart and old enough to know how difficult it is for Black women in the entertainment industry once the tide turns against us. Mo'Nique is still looking for some R-E-S-P-E-C-T from Tyler Perry and the Oprah. Before your video rant, I'm sure Chrisette Michele would've happily traded places with you, just to be on the roster with a bunch of other R&B ladies performing at arenas as opposed to touring city wineries.
Now, I don't believe that you ought to allow disrespect to go unchecked, I just wish you had chosen some other way to set boundaries and expectations for what shalt not be tolerated by an R&B diva of your caliber. I'm curious to know how this kind of clapback hasn't gone viral before now, because you can't be the first Black performer to confront online vitriol. I'm guessing the others have people to hide or delete those kinds of comments in real time. Or in some cases, comments are disabled or restricted to limit that kind of negativity. Whatever it takes to protect your peace, I urge you to implement practices and procedures immediately. Based on the snippet of your response that I saw, you've been reading the comments before bedtime as a nightly ritual, so it is no wonder that you snapped (again)!
Although I don't have any answers, I can offer a word or two of encouragement. As this is a job that is too big for one Busy Black Woman to handle alone, I am assembling a prayer circle.
To do that, we start by invoking the ancestors already mentioned who knew a little something about being talked about, lied on, betrayed, abused, and ridiculed for being their authentic, full-figured, brown-skinned selves. You're not the first, nor will you be the last Black woman to be hurt by the words of our skinfolks. Each of those women endured both physical and emotional wounds and were called everything but a child of God; nevertheless, none of that suffering is what we celebrate about their lives. It is their perseverance and resolve to rise above the envy, pettiness, etc...
Next, I am calling in the ladies dressed in white who carry scarves to drape over their knees when they sit so that no one can get an accidental peek at their girdles. The ladies who keep a stash of peppermint, butterscotch, or strawberry candies in plastic baggies to dispense to restless children; sugar-free cough drops for the older folks. If that ain't enough, I am calling on the women of your sorority to gather their poodles and to form an outer ring around those church ladies--a hedge of protection, if you will. If we need more reinforcements, maybe some of your fellow R&B sistren and queen mothers will lend their voices in support.
Finally, because I do want to end on a high note, I sincerely hope that this gathering of Black women ancestors, prayer warriors, sorority sisters, and divas can penetrate the defensive walls you have built around yourself. By and large, Black women are not your haters. From where I sit way back in the cheap seats, ain't nobody who is paying good money to see you deserves to be taunted or belittled. We get enough of that for free on our jobs, in our homes, and whenever we log onto these same social media sites. We may not all be in the same arena, but I assure you that there are more of us here cheering you on than over there casting stones. At the end of the day, we all need the same thing...Healing.
