This Busy Black Woman thinks Valentine's Day is useless, right next to Mother's Day, Father's Day, Columbus Day and Flag Day. Why do we allow greeting card companies, florists and jewelry merchants to wreak this much havoc in our lives?
My distaste for Vday goes back to childhood when I was the girl who never got anything except made fun of in school. In elementary school, the cards and notes went to the prettier girls. In middle school, they went to the popular girls. In high school, they went to the girls who knew boys at our brother school. In college, they went to the girls who had boyfriends. Thank goodness for law school, when the cards and notes were sent to the smart girls and a few fellas were kind enough to send me something anyway.
Of course, I am a married veteran now and after nearly 15 Valentine's Days celebrated with the husband, I should be over it...yet I still find this holiday to be superfluous. No, I am not still smarting over ancient and long forgotten heartbreaks and petty jealousies (but they know who they are and what they did). Nor am I wallowing in a stew of shoulda-woulda-coulda. I am just amazed at how one silly day on the calendar has the power to make half of the women I know ultra depressed and the other half overly anxious.
OK, so I started writing this a few days ago, but never posted it, so consistent with my tendency to do things after the fact, here is my post-Valentine's Day round up of observations for next year. If you are a BBW who spent this past Monday alone with a box of chocolates you bought yourself, please read on:
1. Next year, ditch the candy and buy some jewelry. This is actually the best thing about Valentine's Day--jewelry sales. If I were still single, oh the bling I would have...
2. Ditto for the flowers...buy yourself a new purse and/or a pair of shoes instead. And when you show said new purse and/or pair of shoes off to all of your married/attached friends, they will be reminded of a time when they could purchase purses and/or shoes without having to explain why they needed another purse and/or pair of shoes when they already have a closet full of purses and/or shoes.
3. Don't envy your best friend who is planning her dream wedding. Feel sorry for her because she is not as happy as you think! She is either: (a) in debt up to her eyeballs; (b) annoyed that her perfect fiance would rather watch basketball than help her with the seating chart; (c) stressed out from the constant arguing with her mother over wedding details; or (d) wishing she had eloped.
4. Valentine's Day is a holiday about sex, not love. Thus, in the case of your married or might-as-well-be-married friends, it is the same sex that they have been having for years. Which probably means that nothing happened.
5. If your other single friends spent half the day feeling sorry for themselves too, make a pact not to ever waste this day again! Plan a girls' night out and treat yourselves to one of those over-priced dinner for two specials that every restaurant in town offers.
6. For those hoping that he pops the question...why? So that you can join the "he-proposed-on-Valentine's-Day" cliche club? Come on, don't you want your man to be more original than that?
Do you detect a theme here? Valentine's Day is just another day on the calendar, and for the BBW who has enough to contend with, you do not have time to lose a day to needless depression or anxiety! It is just not that serious and with March being the busiest BBW month of the year, you need to direct that energy into more useful and meaningful projects such as that event you have been planning for the last six months...you know, the same event where you plan to debut your new bling, purse and/or shoes!