
But they are. The Karens are displeased. So they have taken to the streets, like this woman in her yoga pants and messy top knot demanding that we get back to work. She has had enough of our loafing. She wants her hair cut and a pumpkin spice latte (I know, we're in a different season, so she wants her green tea frappucinno with soy milk and extra foam) NOW!
Only she can't call our managers to demand that we get fired because they're all at home on the sofa watching YouTube makeup tutorials. Unless someone is deemed an essential worker, we're ALL on lockdown, Karen. We all need a life, a job, and a haircut. We are all trying to navigate a world that has been turned upside down by a GLOBAL pandemic that has made it necessary for Savannah Guthrie to read the news from her basement. How is that not clear?
Oh, that's right...not enough people have died to warrant your inconvenience. You don't know anyone among those 45,000+ casualties. You barely know the single mother who fulfilled your recent Insta-cart order, but forgot the pomelo so now you can't make that recipe you saw on pinterest. (And you showed her by only giving her three stars!) Well, she wants to get her hair done too, but she has to pay her rent which is why she's venturing out in a homemade mask, a sleep cap, and kitchen gloves to shop for your groceries.

So no, being branded as a Karen isn't a social media 'lynching' or branding a scarlet letter K on your profile. Your block button works. You don't have to be on social media correcting other people's grammar. You don't have to become the star of a viral racist Tik Tok rant that you and your stupid boyfriend made because you're bored. Oh wait, that was your daughter Becky...
Look Karen, we know it isn't your fault that you have too much free time on your hands, enough that you can take to the streets to demand that we get back to work so that you can get back to your regular complaining and calling the cops.
But before I let you get back to your crusade, let's go on and address your shitty analogy comparing the word you dare not say to being called a Karen. Sexism and misogyny are words that I happen to understand very well, being a woman myself. I also know about being Black, but we won't play the your-blues-ain't-like-mine card because we aren't playing games. Your life isn't at risk when someone calls you Karen...your feelings are hurt. Those are not analogous experiences.

But you aren't protesting those injustices, are you Karen? Or Laura. Or Jill. Or Miss Anne. Or whatever the fuck your name is.
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