I did ok. If I were to have given myself a grade, it might have been a D because the perfectionist in me would still be upset about all of the things I did not accomplish last month (like not cleaning my house, or not making it to church every Sunday, or for not working out three times a week). Instead, because I know that I am not perfect and God willing, there is always next month, I will give myself a C-.
And I will drink from the half-full glass to acknowledge the things I did accomplish, like avoiding alcohol for the entire month (I even took Alka Seltzer instead of NyQuil when I got sick). I spent quality time with the husband. I went to church more often than I have in years. I woke up early a few times and I arrived on time for a few things. And I am proud to say that I did accomplish a lot in terms of soul-searching, thanks in large part to the Happy Black Woman 31-Day Reset. While I am not a radically different person (for there is much room for improvement, such as finishing projects that I start) I am a person who understands why the power to change must come from within.
And that is my big AHA revelation. No matter how bad things seem, I can triumph. I think about how my car was broken into again, and how I chose not to fly off into a rage and simply opted to forgive. I think about the challenges facing my family because of my Mother's condition, and trust me, being angry at the world did nothing to change the reality of the situation. Deciding on a course of action has been much more beneficial. Let's face it, life is hard, yet there is a lot of joy to be found on the margins. And so, as often as I can, I will look for the joy.
At some point it occurred to me that I already knew this and I had what I will call a 'ruby slipper' moment. You remember that part at the end of the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy is told by Glenda the Good Witch that she could have gone home at the very beginning if she had just clicked her heels three times while in Munchkin Land--before meeting the Scarecrow, Tinman and the Lion; before meeting the fake Wizard; and before having to confront the Wicked Witch of the West. Armed with that information at the outset, Dorothy could had avoided all of the unnecessary drama, but she also would never have gained the wisdom, compassion and courage that she needed to face her various obstacles. Thus, the power to change my outlook and reactions, to ability to empathize, and the strength to deal with whatever curve balls life hurls at me is right here inside of me. Yes, I might prefer to avoid the unpleasantness, but in order to get to that joy, sometimes the sidetrip through Oz is inevitable...
PS: For those of you who prefer The Wiz, a 'silver slipper' moment is technically the same thing!
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