Saturday, February 20, 2021

When the Chickens Come Home to Roost

Infamously, Malcolm X was suspended from his position as spokesperson for the Honorable Elijah Muhammad and the Nation of Islam when he suggested that the assassination of President Kennedy was a case of chickens coming home to roost. I wanted to offer that introduction as a reminder that it is still Black History Month, and if you have been doing your homework, then you know that a lot of the tomfoolery and shenanigans we have been witness to this month are a result of the Groundhog seeing his shadow. And because y'all acquitted the mango-maniac again and didn't think our ancestors would notice.

They did. And they are displeased.

Of course, we were taught that those in the Great Cloud of Witnesses merely observe human behavior, but don't interfere. Surely, they would intervene to rescue humanity from itself if they could, but then how would we learn? Somebody had to ignore the very explicit warning not to engage in something disastrous or dangerous; for example, don't follow those crazy white kids into that haunted house. Do not vote for the con man reality TV game show host because your intense dislike of a better-qualified woman is not evened out by following that fool...

I know, and for some who have grown weary of my political musings, no, I won't just move on to write about people I like. So if you are wondering, why Busy Black Woman, when we don't need to care about them or the stupid prizes they keep winning? To which, my response is, well I'm not ready to turn on President Biden for not yet forgiving my student loans less than a month in office. I am happy to focus my attention elsewhere until after I get the vaccine or until such time that he really disappoints me by sending VP Harris off to do some ceremonial crap that is better suited for her husband.

Honestly, I just don't want to let these meaux feaux off the hook for being the kind of mitch who would taunt people in other parts of the country during their time of need, and then because the temperature in his house dips below 72 degrees, hops a plane to Cancun. Or the kind of Tracy Flick who thinks she deserves credit for other people's courage by being two-faced, then gets the rude reminder that she is just another mermaid on the mast of a sexist ship. And though I won't say anything else about the dude who died the other day, I will just offer this hymn...

I am not one to gloat because no good ever comes of that, but I am one to point out the obvious: cluck cluck. And the fact that these chickens belong to Ted Cruz and Nikki Haley, the two shitty opportunists we all remember and hated from law school, open the gates!

Senator Ted Cruz deserves this ass-kicking for the full range of his hypocrisy--from enabling the insurrection last month to leaving the country during an extreme weather emergency in his state. But do you know what will likely be cited as central to his downfall? That he abandoned his dog. 

Shall we unpack this booshay? First of all, he has an emotional support dog named Snowflake, the same name used to deride liberals as weak. Because of a new rule change, he couldn't sneak the dog into his carry-on, so his wife told him to hire a dog-sitter. But ever mindful of wasting taxpayer money, he told his security guard to look after the dog, and that raises several additional questions. Who is coming for Ted Cruz? How inept are his enemies as to be so dissuaded by one security guard? Why come said security guard was still in Texas while the family went away on vacation? Was this rent-a-cop supposed to be stationed outside the house in the cold for five days? Was he only allowed in the house to feed Snowflake? So do we honestly believe that Sen. Cruz did in fact hire a dog-walker and then referred to that person as a "security guard" to make this entire scenario sound just as bad as it looks?

Imma let you sit with that for a minute or two...

Somebody explain how this dude, not Beto O'Rourke or the Castro brothers or Matthew Knowles, is the junior Senator from the state that gave us braggadocios ginormous belt buckles, ten-gallon Stetson hats, Jerry Jones, Juneteenth, and J.R. Ewing. And then of all places to go on vacation, he chose Mexico. Nobody would have been the least bit suspicious had he gone to Florida, Puerto Rico, or even the U.S. Virgin Islands (no passport)...but at least now we know what he was looking at on his phone during the impeachment proceedings.

Ambassador Nikki Haley deserves her corpse flowers while she can still smell them too. She thought she was so special, the smart one who could play chicken and not end up on a platter. Remember how she didn't really like Trump at first, then he gave her that nice job? But he kept embarrassing her so she broke up with him, but still wanted to be friends. And instead of taking that L in private by not telling the world that he had de-friended her and blocked her number, she decided to promote the narrative that at least she tried. She's the bigger person; he's the immature one (but maybe she thought we didn't notice that after all these years of name-calling and bullying).

Girl, BYE! We know Melania intercepted that booty call. Or was it Hope Hicks or Kayleigh McEnany or Lady Ivanka who told you to stop making a fool of yourself because he don't want you no more. His new boo is Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Mother Maya told us when people show you who they are, believe them. Brother Martin said the time is always right to do what is right. Saint Mother Teresa said that we should do things for others not because of who they are or for what they can do for us in return, but because of who we are. Baba Mandela said it is easy to break down and destroy, so real heroes are those who make peace and build. Great Uncle Mark Twain said a half-truth is the most cowardly of lies. And Brother Malcolm already told us about those chickens...

Cluck cluck.

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