I started to write this yesterday when I was dog tired after having been awake for 19 hours straight (from 4:30 in the morning until around 11:30 that next night), but it was not working, so I gave up with the intention of picking up where I left off to try again. Instead, I am starting over because, well, what a difference a day makes.
I am supposed to be in NYC with the husband. But I was not ready when he was ready to leave, so he left without me. To say that I was pissed is an understatement--not that I was eager to take yet another trip to NYC, but because I felt that he could have waited.
I am a chronically over-scheduled, procrastinating, never-on-time disaster of a person. And now, my bad habits are starting to catch up to me. Yesterday, I was late for court. Today, I got left behind. This past summer, I missed a flight to New Orleans. I routinely stay up late to complete projects because I have convinced myself that I work better under pressure. And I fully expect that I will continue to miss appointments and deadlines, and never get enough sleep because I am a chronically over-scheduled, procrastinating, never-on-time disaster of a person.
And so, despite my efforts to improve, I am still late for almost everything because there is always something. Today, I decided to wash my hair. And for whatever reason, everything was going great until it came time to detangle and then all of a sudden a task that I have gotten down to an hour took me nearly three. Which meant that when the husband was ready to leave, I had only detangled a third of my head. And even if he could have waited, it would have led to an inevitable argument about why we can never leave town without some two-hour delay.
Well, maybe I did not need to wash my hair today...but I would have been late for any number of other reasons, including the fact that I had not finished the laundry. Or washed the dishes. Or finished writing this piece. Or read all of my email. Or written my speech for Sunday. Or worked on any of the committee reports that I have yet to start. Or started our income taxes. Or started planning my conference for this fall.
Take your pick.
In case anyone is wondering if this BBW thing is just a funny persona, it is not. I really am a Busy Black Woman and sometimes it sucks. I have a million and one things going on and already this week, I have dropped the ball twice and that sucks. And while I did not really want to be in court or go to New York this week, that really is not much of an excuse. So right now, I suck.
Tomorrow is another day (and since I am up in the middle of the night writing this, it is already tomorrow), and I will prayerfully get another chance to try again. I will not promise to have everything done, but I will get on it and do the best that I can.