Case in point: the husband likes to make plans, but he has a very bad habit of mentioning these plans in very off-handed ways, then gets irritated when I forget. His defense is always along the lines of "I told you two weeks ago" or (my favorite) "I emailed it to you a week ago." Well, I get irritated because he seems to think that I am a receptionist, as if it is my job to remember random dates and plans. I do not work for him; I live with him, so why doesn't he know this about me after all these years?
My parents are also guilty of this except they do not tell me anything in advance; they wait until the last possible minute to "remind" me of some function to which they already bought tickets. My father, who is the main culprit, will say, "Well I just thought you'd like to go" and then he proceeds as if being my father grants him the special privilege of screwing up my schedule. My mother is only slightly better in that she will at least tell me weeks in advance that she already bought my ticket without ever bothering to ask if I already have plans for the date in question.
Look people, I am called the Busy Black Woman for a reason...and it is not because I can, at the drop of a dime, be anywhere at anytime. I have a lot going on, and since you already know this about me, then none of this is news. But here is a refresher:
- On any given Saturday, I am in a meeting or at a function or in rehearsal. Make that every Saturday.
- Two nights a week I am in ballet or yoga class, which means no, I did not get your message if you called/emailed/texted me between 6 and 7:30pm on a Wednesday or Thursday evening.
- No, I cannot meet you somewhere on the fly in 10, 15 or 20 minutes. Most likely I can meet you in 2 to 24 hours.
- Yes, I probably got your email, but I also received about ten others at the same time. If you did not receive a response within a certain time frame and it is a matter of life and death, by all means, pick up the phone and call me. But if it is not an emergency and you send me a snarky follow-up an hour later requesting an immediate response...you just might get one.
- I need concrete plans. I am a grown woman, not an impulsive teenager. Give me details so that I can make informed decisions.
- Writing things down on your calendar at work is not the same as telling me, even if we are married and live in the same house.
- Yes, I am your daughter, but I do not think two weeks advance notice is too much to ask.
- I will assume that a text-messaged invitation was sent as an after-thought unless it is truly the type of gathering that one organizes at the last possible minute.