This has been a trying week for me...nothing major went wrong and I am not sick or anything like that, but I have not been myself. From Monday to Friday, it sucked to be me.
Every now and then, the BBW needs to admit when it gets too much to be a BBW. There are days when you just want to stay in bed and watch really bad daytime TV, eat fast food, drink too much cheap wine and pray that the morning regrets will motivate you to improve so as not to repeat the same bad pattern...
And so, when that did not happen, I just had to confess that my blues are the culmination of being too busy. Too busy to process what is happening in the world and in my own family. Or of using the excuse of being too busy to take the time to accept the changes that are going on around me. And finally realizing that it is high time that I admit that being too busy is NOT always a good thing.
Yesterday I was speaking to a relative and she said the one thing that I needed to hear--she had my back. And while she could not see the tears, I have a feeling that she knew they were flowing. Her kindness was just overwhelming and just so appreciated.
To my fellow Busy Black Women, there will be days like this...but you do not need to carry the weight of your world on your shoulders. It is okay to be less than perfect. It is okay to pay someone to do the stuff you do not feel like doing. It is ok to take two days to finish something that could have been completed in an hour. It is ok to let someone else try their way of doing things even if you believe that your way is better. It is ok to delegate a task and then back the heck off to give the person space to do the job. Woosah!
And while I could spend the rest of today beating myself up over this lost week, I will give myself permission to let it go and to strive to do better next week. Besides, I have a typical BBW weekend ahead of me.
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