I should not be taking precious time from my newly crafted blogging schedule to write this, but sometimes exceptions must be made. So perhaps I can kill two birds with the same stone...
All over the Twitterverse earlier this afternoon was the news that celebu-tart Kim Kardashian had filed for divorce from her husband of two months and nearly two weeks, NBA player Kris Humphries. They were married in a lavish ceremony in August, which just aired in a primetime TV special in October. (These facts are provided solely for the purpose of those who have not been Keeping up with the Kardashians lately :) The wedding promo is still running on the freakin' E! site!
I could write an entire post based on the previous paragraph...but here is where I return to my regularly scheduled topic, which happens to be Halloween. Based on the timing (for had they waited to get hitched on Valentine's Day, it would have been too obvious to announce plans to divorce on April 1st), it is quite clear that Kim K and Kris Humphries' marriage was all some massive trick!
And who is gonna top that one, boo?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
It's Our Anniversary!
(Well, it was back on October 5 when I started writing this initially...but please read on :)
Ten years ago, on the night of October 4, I was wide awake and worried about coming down with a cold. It had taken us six hours to get to New York and then another hour or so to find our way to White Plains because apparently clearly marked exit signs only exist on the New Jersey Parkway. Anyway, after finally settling in for the night, I called my parents and my father assured me that he would get in touch with my younger brother who was away in college to let him know what was going to happen the next day.
The next day was a beautiful autumn Friday in New York City, and my then-boyfriend of five years and I rode down to Manhattan with a couple of friends from college to get hitched at City Hall. Of course, nothing went as planned. We left late and got stuck in midday traffic. The ceremony was taking place three weeks after 9/11/01 just a few blocks away from what had become known as Ground Zero and workers were still searching through the rubble. Police were everywhere, so we had to go through several security checks just to drive close enough to be let off near the clerk's office. Not all of our friends were there at the right time, and we almost forfeited our slot because the office closed earlier than we anticipated. To this day, I am positive that the ceremony was conducted almost entirely in Spanglish. Later I learned that my father had casually told my brother that I had gotten married two days after the fact. And both of us went back to work that Monday morning as if nothing major had happened at all.
Ten years ago, on the night of October 4, I was wide awake and worried about coming down with a cold. It had taken us six hours to get to New York and then another hour or so to find our way to White Plains because apparently clearly marked exit signs only exist on the New Jersey Parkway. Anyway, after finally settling in for the night, I called my parents and my father assured me that he would get in touch with my younger brother who was away in college to let him know what was going to happen the next day.
The next day was a beautiful autumn Friday in New York City, and my then-boyfriend of five years and I rode down to Manhattan with a couple of friends from college to get hitched at City Hall. Of course, nothing went as planned. We left late and got stuck in midday traffic. The ceremony was taking place three weeks after 9/11/01 just a few blocks away from what had become known as Ground Zero and workers were still searching through the rubble. Police were everywhere, so we had to go through several security checks just to drive close enough to be let off near the clerk's office. Not all of our friends were there at the right time, and we almost forfeited our slot because the office closed earlier than we anticipated. To this day, I am positive that the ceremony was conducted almost entirely in Spanglish. Later I learned that my father had casually told my brother that I had gotten married two days after the fact. And both of us went back to work that Monday morning as if nothing major had happened at all.
Belated September Reset Recap
So I finally posted the September Reset Journal, and so now I wanted to offer a recap of sorts to summarize (for those of you who are not all that interested in reading a day-to-day rehash of the month of September :)
I did ok. If I were to have given myself a grade, it might have been a D because the perfectionist in me would still be upset about all of the things I did not accomplish last month (like not cleaning my house, or not making it to church every Sunday, or for not working out three times a week). Instead, because I know that I am not perfect and God willing, there is always next month, I will give myself a C-.
And I will drink from the half-full glass to acknowledge the things I did accomplish, like avoiding alcohol for the entire month (I even took Alka Seltzer instead of NyQuil when I got sick). I spent quality time with the husband. I went to church more often than I have in years. I woke up early a few times and I arrived on time for a few things. And I am proud to say that I did accomplish a lot in terms of soul-searching, thanks in large part to the Happy Black Woman 31-Day Reset. While I am not a radically different person (for there is much room for improvement, such as finishing projects that I start) I am a person who understands why the power to change must come from within.
And that is my big AHA revelation. No matter how bad things seem, I can triumph. I think about how my car was broken into again, and how I chose not to fly off into a rage and simply opted to forgive. I think about the challenges facing my family because of my Mother's condition, and trust me, being angry at the world did nothing to change the reality of the situation. Deciding on a course of action has been much more beneficial. Let's face it, life is hard, yet there is a lot of joy to be found on the margins. And so, as often as I can, I will look for the joy.
At some point it occurred to me that I already knew this and I had what I will call a 'ruby slipper' moment. You remember that part at the end of the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy is told by Glenda the Good Witch that she could have gone home at the very beginning if she had just clicked her heels three times while in Munchkin Land--before meeting the Scarecrow, Tinman and the Lion; before meeting the fake Wizard; and before having to confront the Wicked Witch of the West. Armed with that information at the outset, Dorothy could had avoided all of the unnecessary drama, but she also would never have gained the wisdom, compassion and courage that she needed to face her various obstacles. Thus, the power to change my outlook and reactions, to ability to empathize, and the strength to deal with whatever curve balls life hurls at me is right here inside of me. Yes, I might prefer to avoid the unpleasantness, but in order to get to that joy, sometimes the sidetrip through Oz is inevitable...
PS: For those of you who prefer The Wiz, a 'silver slipper' moment is technically the same thing!
I did ok. If I were to have given myself a grade, it might have been a D because the perfectionist in me would still be upset about all of the things I did not accomplish last month (like not cleaning my house, or not making it to church every Sunday, or for not working out three times a week). Instead, because I know that I am not perfect and God willing, there is always next month, I will give myself a C-.
And I will drink from the half-full glass to acknowledge the things I did accomplish, like avoiding alcohol for the entire month (I even took Alka Seltzer instead of NyQuil when I got sick). I spent quality time with the husband. I went to church more often than I have in years. I woke up early a few times and I arrived on time for a few things. And I am proud to say that I did accomplish a lot in terms of soul-searching, thanks in large part to the Happy Black Woman 31-Day Reset. While I am not a radically different person (for there is much room for improvement, such as finishing projects that I start) I am a person who understands why the power to change must come from within.
And that is my big AHA revelation. No matter how bad things seem, I can triumph. I think about how my car was broken into again, and how I chose not to fly off into a rage and simply opted to forgive. I think about the challenges facing my family because of my Mother's condition, and trust me, being angry at the world did nothing to change the reality of the situation. Deciding on a course of action has been much more beneficial. Let's face it, life is hard, yet there is a lot of joy to be found on the margins. And so, as often as I can, I will look for the joy.
At some point it occurred to me that I already knew this and I had what I will call a 'ruby slipper' moment. You remember that part at the end of the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy is told by Glenda the Good Witch that she could have gone home at the very beginning if she had just clicked her heels three times while in Munchkin Land--before meeting the Scarecrow, Tinman and the Lion; before meeting the fake Wizard; and before having to confront the Wicked Witch of the West. Armed with that information at the outset, Dorothy could had avoided all of the unnecessary drama, but she also would never have gained the wisdom, compassion and courage that she needed to face her various obstacles. Thus, the power to change my outlook and reactions, to ability to empathize, and the strength to deal with whatever curve balls life hurls at me is right here inside of me. Yes, I might prefer to avoid the unpleasantness, but in order to get to that joy, sometimes the sidetrip through Oz is inevitable...
PS: For those of you who prefer The Wiz, a 'silver slipper' moment is technically the same thing!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The Busy Black Woman Returneth!
For those of you who might have noticed that I had not written anything since the beginning of October (and for those who did notice), I'm back! And I have so much to say that it is hard to know where to begin...so I will start at the beginning.
I intended to write a post back at the beginning of the month about my September reset, but then I started another post about the Obamas and my 10th wedding anniversary, which I did not finish before the trip to New York for the niece's wedding, and I only had a day to prepare for the trip to Puerto Rico for a week (sans laptop), so by the time I got back and spent most of last week ripping and running around, it was time for Blogalicious weekend.
And I just noticed today that I pretty much abandoned you all for the month of October. AACCK!
So here is the deal, I will spend the remainder of this month on all of the unfinished and partially completed drafts and ideas that were supposed to be posted by now: the September reset recap, the beauty of weddings and anniversaries, my vacation, my reflections on Blogalicious, and finally Halloween. That makes five articles in six days, so while I am not making any promises, I hope that you will come back into the Busy Black Woman fold anyway to see what happens next!
I intended to write a post back at the beginning of the month about my September reset, but then I started another post about the Obamas and my 10th wedding anniversary, which I did not finish before the trip to New York for the niece's wedding, and I only had a day to prepare for the trip to Puerto Rico for a week (sans laptop), so by the time I got back and spent most of last week ripping and running around, it was time for Blogalicious weekend.
And I just noticed today that I pretty much abandoned you all for the month of October. AACCK!
So here is the deal, I will spend the remainder of this month on all of the unfinished and partially completed drafts and ideas that were supposed to be posted by now: the September reset recap, the beauty of weddings and anniversaries, my vacation, my reflections on Blogalicious, and finally Halloween. That makes five articles in six days, so while I am not making any promises, I hope that you will come back into the Busy Black Woman fold anyway to see what happens next!
Monday, October 3, 2011
October Surprise
I did not intend to write a blog marking the start of October by mentioning that my car got broken into AGAIN...probably by the same crackhead that rifled through it the last time. And again, this time the police came and took a report that will probably end up in the unsolved case file because no one gives a crap about a car that was broken into and was only deprived of meter change (even if it was not the only car that was targeted, which is a crucial point to mention since it was a neighbor who alerted us to the crime this morning after noticing that his car and another neighbor's car had been rifled through).
And if you are worried that this will be another rant, it won't because after speaking with the officer at length about what might have happened this time around, I...will save my feelings for a little later, so please read on (but no, this is not another rant). The officer suggested that the culprit might have been a known entitity who has caused mischief for years around these parts, and then went on to tell the husband and me how this person has been locked up a few times, homeless, and get this--raised in this very neighborhood!
What in the world???!!!
And if you are worried that this will be another rant, it won't because after speaking with the officer at length about what might have happened this time around, I...will save my feelings for a little later, so please read on (but no, this is not another rant). The officer suggested that the culprit might have been a known entitity who has caused mischief for years around these parts, and then went on to tell the husband and me how this person has been locked up a few times, homeless, and get this--raised in this very neighborhood!
What in the world???!!!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The Things You Do For Love
And I say this after spending the morning at the salon getting my hair braided, per the request of the husband...because as everyone on my Twitter feed learned this morning right before it all got started, I HATE GETTTING MY HAIR BRAIDED!
Mind you, the husband LOVES braids and specifically requested them for my appearance at the Elder Niece's nuptials which are next weekend. He made this request back in June when we were discussing a few wedding details with the Elder Niece, her sister (the MOH), and her Mom (his eldest sister and my sister-in-law). Mind you, I am not even in the bridal party, so what I look like really should not matter, but then when it was suggested that I might have to pose in a wedding photo or two, then the topic of what-will-she-do-with-her-hair came up (and mind you once more, this question was posed by the husband)...
And then he pulls out the emotional blackmail: "You know how much my mother loved you in braids...everybody loves you in braids" and then makes a sad weepy dog face for effect. And as you know, I loved my late mother-in-law and would have done just about anything for her, so now I have braids.
And did I mention that the big wedding weekend happens to coincide with the Busy Black Woman's big 10th wedding anniversary? So since the husband loves braids, and I've been a grumpy grump for the last eight and a half years, I got braids to make him happy. But please do not tell him that...I'm sticking with the explanation that since we are headed to Puerto Rico the following week, I got braids so that I will not have to think about my hair whilst enjoying a week in the tropics.
Because I love the husband, I will not be participating in a panel discussion about my college years, which would be a totally typical BBW activity for me on any other night of the year. Alas, it is scheduled for the night of our anniversary, so I thought twice and declined the invitation...but you can tell him it was because I needed to pack for our two trips.
Because I love my natural hair just like it is, I am annoyed that people want to charge me extra for styling it, as if the additional length is somehow a liability. Yes it is thick and will destroy styling tools without a second thought, but isn't that the point? But as much as I love this thick mess, I needed a break, so that is why I have braids.
Because this song has been in my head since I wrote the title to this post, here ya go:
Mind you, the husband LOVES braids and specifically requested them for my appearance at the Elder Niece's nuptials which are next weekend. He made this request back in June when we were discussing a few wedding details with the Elder Niece, her sister (the MOH), and her Mom (his eldest sister and my sister-in-law). Mind you, I am not even in the bridal party, so what I look like really should not matter, but then when it was suggested that I might have to pose in a wedding photo or two, then the topic of what-will-she-do-with-her-hair came up (and mind you once more, this question was posed by the husband)...
And then he pulls out the emotional blackmail: "You know how much my mother loved you in braids...everybody loves you in braids" and then makes a sad weepy dog face for effect. And as you know, I loved my late mother-in-law and would have done just about anything for her, so now I have braids.
And did I mention that the big wedding weekend happens to coincide with the Busy Black Woman's big 10th wedding anniversary? So since the husband loves braids, and I've been a grumpy grump for the last eight and a half years, I got braids to make him happy. But please do not tell him that...I'm sticking with the explanation that since we are headed to Puerto Rico the following week, I got braids so that I will not have to think about my hair whilst enjoying a week in the tropics.
Because I love the husband, I will not be participating in a panel discussion about my college years, which would be a totally typical BBW activity for me on any other night of the year. Alas, it is scheduled for the night of our anniversary, so I thought twice and declined the invitation...but you can tell him it was because I needed to pack for our two trips.
Because I love my natural hair just like it is, I am annoyed that people want to charge me extra for styling it, as if the additional length is somehow a liability. Yes it is thick and will destroy styling tools without a second thought, but isn't that the point? But as much as I love this thick mess, I needed a break, so that is why I have braids.
Because this song has been in my head since I wrote the title to this post, here ya go:
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Fried Chicken Wednesday: Soap Operas
It is a dirty little secret that Busy Black Women watch soap operas (what else do we DVR now that Oprah has ended her show) and it is this week that we pay homage to one of our favorite character actresses, Debbi Morgan, who celebrated a birthday on September 20. On and off since the 80s, Morgan has portrayed Angie Baxter Hubbard, alongside Darnell Williams, who portrayed her soul mate, Jesse Hubbard on All My Children (AMC).
Of course you already know this because everybody knows about Angie and Jesse, the first black super-couple in daytime (and apparently the person who put together that fan page, must really love them). And of course, you know that as of this Friday, AMC will sign off for good, perhaps to be reincarnated online as a web serial. So Happy Birthday Debbi Morgan! As of Friday, you’re out of a job…?
Except that is not quite true. Although AMC will be going off the air, Morgan will be joining the cast of The Young and the Restless (Y&R) next month, another long-running soap on a rival network. And so, Happy Birthday Debbi Morgan! You still have a job…for now, since it is a pretty good bet that CBS will rinse its two remaining soaps down the drain before long.
The soap opera as we knew it back when we watched it with our grandmothers and babysitters is dead. It is okay because years ago we gave up trying to keep up with those inane soap storylines involving alien abductions, resurrections from the dead, and how many husbands Erica Kane has had. Quietly, but steadily, we have all moved on to the real-life drama provided by reality TV shows.
Of course you already know this because everybody knows about Angie and Jesse, the first black super-couple in daytime (and apparently the person who put together that fan page, must really love them). And of course, you know that as of this Friday, AMC will sign off for good, perhaps to be reincarnated online as a web serial. So Happy Birthday Debbi Morgan! As of Friday, you’re out of a job…?
Except that is not quite true. Although AMC will be going off the air, Morgan will be joining the cast of The Young and the Restless (Y&R) next month, another long-running soap on a rival network. And so, Happy Birthday Debbi Morgan! You still have a job…for now, since it is a pretty good bet that CBS will rinse its two remaining soaps down the drain before long.
The soap opera as we knew it back when we watched it with our grandmothers and babysitters is dead. It is okay because years ago we gave up trying to keep up with those inane soap storylines involving alien abductions, resurrections from the dead, and how many husbands Erica Kane has had. Quietly, but steadily, we have all moved on to the real-life drama provided by reality TV shows.
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